10 Steps to Becoming a Powerful Listener

Let me ask you a simple question. Are you a good listener? Now you might believe you’re a good listener, but just stop for a moment and think; how would the following people rate you as a listener – your best friend, your boss, your employees, colleagues and even your nearest and dearest. Rather not think about it eh!

Let me give you some facts and figures about listening that have been established by research.
G R Bell established in 1984 studies that adults typically practise listening at no better than 25 per cent efficiency. In 1983 G T Hunt and A P Cusella reported how well Training Directors in Fortune 500 companies rated the listening effectiveness of managers and subordinates in their organisations. Ratings averaged 1.97 on a 5-point scale, somewhere between “fair” and “poor.”
Other studies suggest that 60-70 per cent of oral communication is either ignored, misunderstood or quickly forgotten. After 48 hours people are likely to retain less than 25 per cent of what they heard in a conversation.

Now I’m sure this makes a lot of sense to you because one of the most common complaints I hear from managers and employees is – “My manager doesn’t listen to me!”
It’s also one of the reasons why difficulties arise in our personal life. How often have people headed to the divorce court saying – “He never listens to me!” or “She doesn’t understand me!”

Listening is a very powerful management skill and if you want to become a Motivational Manager and minimise your stress then you need to become a Powerful Listener.
Powerful listening isn’t about hearing; it’s about really understanding the message that the other person is sending and letting them know that you understand and care about what they’re saying.

Hearing doesn’t take any effort; however listening, takes a great deal of concentration and effort. Of course, it gets easier with training and practise, so don’t give up on me yet.
It’s important to understand why listening can be difficult and there are whole lists of reasons why people don’t listen well. One of the main reasons is that we can be distracted both internally and externally.
People have the ability to think at around 400-700 words per minute. People talk at about 120-150 words per minute. So in any interaction there’s a huge amount of spare brain capacity unused by the listener.
Because we all have so many other things going on in our lives, it’s so easy to let our mind ‘wander off’ and use that surplus brain capacity to think about something else, when someone is speaking to us. We might have personal concerns that pop into our mind such as issues with our partners or children.
Listening can also be difficult if we’re tired, bored, in a hurry, confused or can’t make out or understand what the other person is saying.

Here are 10 key steps to becoming a Powerful Listener:
1. Listen logically – stay emotionally detached and listen for facts, ideas and details
2. Stimulate the speaker – nod your head, lean forward, keep good eye contact and concentrate totally
3. Make notes – if relevant get all the details down
4. Shut out distractions – change your environment or shut out all distractions in your mind
5. Listen between the lines for hidden meanings – listen to the emotional meaning of the speaker
6. Use your intuition and trust your gut feeling
7. Observe non-verbal clues – watch body language, be aware of what people are not saying
8. Listen for what people would like to say but have difficulty putting into words
9. Don’t pre-judge – keep an open mind
10. Don’t interrupt or jump in with an answer or solution

Commit to practising your listening skills everyday. Whenever you come into contact with someone, be it in business or socially, really listen to that person. It’s like any other skill, the more you practise the better you’ll become. (And just think how much you will learn)